Last night, my roommate and I watched four hours of American Horror Story.
Don’t even ask. We had nothing better to do, okay?
Alright, we had been looking forward to it all week.
But in viewing the series again, we theorized a bit. Only read the below theorem if:
a) You love American Horror Story in a completely
serious ironic way, like we do.
b) You want to see how nerds spend their free time.
Alright, here we go:
– Larry: He has to be lying. There is no way he could have burnt the house down, and there is no way that prison would release him if he had killed 3 people, even if he had terminal cancer. Is he a figment of Ben’s imagination? Is he alive? is he a ghost? Did he even live in the house? What are his motives?
– The man in the rubber suit has to be the 1920’s doctor.
– Tate and the doctor’s baby son have to be either:
a) the same person. Tate could be a reincarnation of the Infantata.
b) Closely related. When Violet expressed fear of the Infantata (when they scared the crack whore in the basement) and when Tate told the story of the baby’s passing and Violet expressed doubt (in the first half of the halloween episode), he was offended. He must have some connection to the spirit that cuts deeper than the rest.
-Tate is probably Constance’s son, the only one born without Down’s Syndrome. He is also probably from the 1990’s, evinced by his dress and references to the ’90s. He mentioned Kurt Cobain– was his suicide an emulation of the Nirvana frontman’s succes?
-Okay, this one is a little more out there. What if, in the doctor’s desire to give reanimation to the dead, he has given animation to the house. So what i’m saying is, the house itself is very alive, and can also heal itself– i.e. if there have actually been any fires, the house can heal itself. This could explain why the ghosts are tied so closely to the house, as well.
Alright, that’s going to be it for now. i have to finish all of my school work if I want to be able to watch the new episode tomorrow night.
Oh sweet Jesus, what have I become?