American Horror Story: “Halloween Part 2” (Or, most of that was obvious).

The commercials on FX are so bad that I briefly considered leaving behind my love affair  mild infatuation with American Horror Story. 

But let’s be real here. I could never do that.

So let’s cut to the chase:

There was surprisingly little of Ben’s ass, or tears. There were a few tears, i think. And some whining. Actually, a metric fuck-ton of whining.

I did not miss this at all.

Then, at the end of the episode, he left. He’ll be back, but his temporary absence warms my heart.

Tate and Violet (known to fellow fan girls  as ‘Violate’) finally went on a real date. Violet was DTF but Tate was all like “Nah man, I want to but I can’t get it up because i’m a ghost and my penis can not compute.”

Oh, and Tate is Constance’s son. But we all knew that. Right?

And Hayden let us all know that Ben thinks her vag tastes like raspberries and creme.

Thanks for sharing, Hayden.

"You're welcome."

Also, Hayden was able to somehow get cellphone reception from beyond the grave.

That’s basically all we learned this episode. The only really compelling thing that we’ve learned is that Tate appears to not realize that he shot up his school in 1994– but his victims sure do.

Next week it appears as though we’ll finally learn more about the daemon baby, which is what i’m waiting for. I mean, Tate is a certified hottie, but we already knew that. I want to see some freaky baby rip itself out of Vivian’s belly.

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