The Nightmare

I saw the beast, he says,

Eyes wide, worn cotton blanket tucked

Under one arm.

With a jaguars body

And bear’s feet

And a lion’s mouth—

The devil!


What did he do? His mother asks.

Maybe he’s ugly but he’s not so bad,

Maybe he’s powerful but gentle still, maybe

He walks the earth just to tell us something

Good and whole and pure.


He wasn’t, mother,

The boy whispers, afraid.

Everyone worshipped him, and

Him alone. And they forgot God,

And all the children danced around him, and

They were happy, very happy.


So? His mother asks.

So, he says, shaken,

He ate them all up.

All of the children danced around him

As he ate them one by one:

Very happy, very happy,

Then nothing at all.


The Extra Part

“I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason.” – Hugo Cabret

Two Books, One Reader

‘Tis the season for final exams, falalalalalalalala.

Only, I have this terrible habit of reading instead of studying.

I know; i’m such a rebel.

I’m reading Swing Low by Miriam Toews, a memoir of her late, suicidal father told from his perspective. Stunning, fast-paced, this book shows us how beautiful a withering mind can be.


I’m also reading The Rules of the Tunnel by Ned Zeman, a true account of a succesful reporters fall into (and out of) morbid depression.

Cheery, I know.

I’ll post reviews of both books when I finish them.

Excerpts from Jesse Ball’s ‘The Curfew’

The following are powerful excerpts that i have selected from Jesse Ball’s novel, ‘The Curfew’. 


One thinks of the age when people died in winter, often, for no reason- or when children simply passed away without explaination or greif.

But is it true? Were they so hard that placed those small bodies in the earth? It is disputed- and though one may say, all is the same and relative, yet still clearly, there are some who are followed in the street by vengeful anger, a clothing they may never remove.

I said–life begins for some when it ends ofr others and in another century I might have died as an infant. What sort of riddle is it to suppose the greif my death would have entailed? Is it not the ground over that very grave that my life proceeds?


The effect of irrational belief on your art is invaluable.


Eldritch, Mara and Collin: A short, hurtful dream.



“But for you, I want it to change. One day you will be the only one of us three remaining, and then the world that includes us will be inside of you and nowhere else.”

The author of this blog suggests that you read this novel. Now. 

American Horror Story: The Rubber Man (Or, Tate, Why???)

Tate is the rubberman.

Tate appears to not be a very nice person.

Tate impregnated Vivian.

Tate sodomized Zachary Quinto’s man with a fire poker.

Tate terrorized Vivian again in cahoots with Hayden, sending her to crazy town (where Ben should be).

Tate convinced Violet to lie to the cops.

Suddenly, Tate shooting up his school seems to be a minor offense compared to how far that fire poker went up Zachary Quinto’s hubby’s ass.

It’s getting very hard to remember Tate as the sweater-wearing, aww worthy lover.

But, possibly the most ridiculous part of the episode was Ben Harmon insisting to the cops that he was, in fact, a licensed psychiatrist.

Oh, Ben, you kill me.

I pretty much want to kill Ryan Murphy, because this show is starting to get ridiculous. The one character I loved, Tate, has been transformed into just a vile, vile person after they spent so many episodes trying to convince us that he was essentially good, and had just been maniupluated by the house.

I’m so sad. I’m going to go watch the National Dog Show and bury my sorrows in a slice of pumpkin pie.

American Horror Story: Open house (Or, Ouch, I Don’t Like That Crunch Sound)

So, sorry for the lateness of this recap. I was so stunned by last week’s episode that i just recently regained my consciousness. Or just had a lot of midterms. Yeah, that’s probably why.

In fact, i’ve been so busy, I haven’t even payed a visit to my Animal Crossing town this week

This is just too perfect.

Anyways, let’s get to it:

So, turns out Larry and Constance got it on in the ’80s. I was kind of disappointed by this, as I have always supported the pairing Larry x Shovel.

Aww, a match made in the purgatory-like state of being that is the Murder House.

We also got to meet Constance’s son, who had a deformity akin to that which was seen in the movie The Mask– not the one with Jim Carey, the one with Cher.

What a treasure of American Cinema.

So anyways, Larry offs this son, Beau, but then is surreptitiously dumped by Constance, who seems to be somewhat of a royal bitch. Sorry Jessica Lange.

"I'm so hurt."

Vivian, finally realizing that a place called the Murder House may not be the best environment to rear children, tries to sell the house.  A man whose ethnicity is the point of much contention due to terrible script-writing decides to buy the house. Moira, thinking this will lead to the discovery of her backyard corpse, gives the guy a quick blowie in Violet’s room. Afterwards, the mysteriously ethiniced man reveals to Ben, the world’s worst psychiatrist, that he plans to level the Murder House and make it into affordable housing. This leads Moira to later bite off his dick witha  resounding crunch.

"Oops, did I do that?"

I’d feel bad for the guy if he wasn’t such a misogynistic asshole. Also, knowing this show, there was probably some sort of zombie haunted indian burial ground underneath the Murder House that would have prevented the building of an apartment complex. Because that’s typically the way things go on FX.

Season Two, in all likelihood.

Speaking of FX, let’s talk about how sick I am of the commercials that they repeat every. single. week.

Yes, FX, we know your programming consists of Twilight, Transformers 2 (the racist one), and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. No need to remind us.

Really, he is? Because i'm sick of seeing his face every commercial break. Give me Tate in a sweater any day.

Really, that’s pretty much it for this episode. The only theory:

-Tate seemed a little bit suspicious when he explained to Violet how ghosts worked. Is he playing her?

Well, the next episode is TONIGHT and the commercials have portended Violet getting her cherry popped by Tate. Naked Tate. Sweaterless Tate.

I can’t wait.

The Candy Kingdom

Playlist: November

Here’s what i’ve been listening to latley:

The Way We Get By……..Spoon

In The Aeroplane Over the Sea……Neutral Milk Hotel

Apartment……………………….Young the Giant

Two Weeks…………………………..Grizzly Bear

Montezuma…………………Fleet Foxes

Girl Inform Me……………The Shins

Fools………………………..The Dodos

The Great Salt Lake……….Band of Horses

Cough Syrup…………………Young the Giant

The Shrine/ An Argument……Fleet Foxes

Special Death……………………Mirah

Together We Can Live Forever…….Clint Mansell

Ragged Wood………………………….Fleet Foxes

Of Angels and Angles…………….The Decemberists

My Body…………………………..Young the Giant


A Brief Love Affair With Skrillex

I hate dubstep.

I really, perniciously hate dubstep.

But the other day, my friend Joseph and I were watching the return of Beavis and Butthead, which, let me tell you, Mike Judge handled with much aplomb.

"She said handled." "Hehheheheheheheheh."

They’re back to their usual shtick: making fun of music videos, the whole nine yards.

Now let me clarify: I am mostly into folk rock and classic rock. Joseph is a diehard prog purist.

Beavis and Butthead played the music video “First of the Year (Equinox)” by Skrillex, an ear worm if i’ve ever heard one, sampling the shrill shriek of a woman crying “CALL 911 NOW!” as its main chorus, followed by  a plethora of bass drops and WOM WOM WOM BAAAAMs. The music video itself is about a serial pedophile getting the shit kicked out of him by a magical little girl and her daemon friend. It’s so awful.

But it has a hold on me, much like the daemon girl has a hold on the pedophile's jugular as she rips the life from him.

The video ends with the daemon girl counting off tallie marks, most presumably numbering the poor, defenseless Dubstep haters who have been sucked into Skrillex’s deathtrap by this unbelievably catchy song.

Another one bites the dust.

So, i guess this all has been a lesson in humility: you can be a musical hipster all you want; you can claim to hate Skrillex and all that he stands for. But no one, no one, is resistant to the forces of a toe-tapping tune.

Even if it's by this guy.

American Horror Story: Piggy, Piggy (Or, is it bad that i still like Tate?)

Well, last night’s episode was quite a trip.

Let’s just take a moment to applaud Ben Harmon for getting through this episode without crying.

"The pain!"

That being said, Ben might be the worst psychiatrist in the history of ever, and should have his license revoked forever and always. But we’ll come back to that later.

In other news, this episode guest-starred Cam from Modern Family. My only critique is that he wasn’t sassy and gay enough.

This episode lacked...this.

Anyways, not-so-sassy-gay Cam played the role of one of Ben’s patients (god save him), who has an irrational fear of Urban Legends. I’ll admit that, I too, was once afraid of an urban legend. I couldn’t look in a mirror for six months after that episode of South park where Butters summons Biggie Smalls.

Some scary shit.

So anyways, in order to treat Cam, Ben makes him go into a bathroom, stare into the mirror, and chant this urban legend rhyme that is supposed to summon the ghost of a deranged pig vendor. In the Murder House. Alone.

"I'm so bad at my job."

Anyways, that plotline wasn’t very interesting, and just involved Cam getting shot in some nonsensical plot twist. because, of course.

"Now I can get back to being gay and sassy!"

So, then there was another kind of maybe interesting subplot involving Vivian and her daemon seed. Basically, she goes to a church, where the crazy hospital technician who passed out last episode has been taking refuge. Because the baby inside Vivian’s baby is fucking satan. And then she’s all like, “Vivian, your baby is fucking Satan or some shit. It’s like, not right. It has hooves and seems like it might be Lucifer himself.” And Vivian is all like, “Naw dog, I got this, my baby is legit.”

"My baby is fine, thank you very much. He's only the product of my sex romp with a spandex-clad stranger. He's legit."

And she might be fucking the sexy black cop. But, again, this really isn’t the important part.

The important part is Tate.

It always is.

We finally find out about Tate’s past. Long story short: he shot up his school, and then was shot at least 15 times in the chest by a SWAT team. Real happy stuff.

See, he seems happy. Everything is all hunky-dory.

By the way, this was 1994. So when Violet realizes this (thank you, Google!), she flips a bitch and tries to kill herself. Tate saves her in what might have been the cutest moment in television history.

We love you too, Tate.

Then you realize that Tate murdered around 20 people and that you should be reviled by him.

But gosh darnit, he’s so frigging cute!

Anyways, after a little more digging, Violet discovers that Tate was a pretty normal guy before he shot up the school. Just a normal teenage boy who likes books about birds. That’s normal, right?

Anyways, the episode ends with them spooning (Tate being the little spoon– que the squeeeees).

So here are my theories:

-They still made Tate likable, even after showing his gruesome crime. i don’t think they would do this unless the house made him do it.

– In addition, I think that the house also made other residents, like Larry, commit their crimes.

-Tate is the best.

That is all.

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